scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
