I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
