tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
