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I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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