Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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