I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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