I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
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So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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