I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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