Apparently you make a good broom.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
