youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize