His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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