you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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