Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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