I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Enjoy the penises
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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