is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
