walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
