You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His hands were made for my vagina.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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