My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize