I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
