I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
