Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
