What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize