For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
