You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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