go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
