Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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