what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
