Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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