If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
