(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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