"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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