Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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