Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Holy sore nipples Batman
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
