I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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