Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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