why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
