...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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