CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
