what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize