What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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