You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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