she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
