the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
