I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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