She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Come on in and take your pants off
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