i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
