can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
