Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You can't motorboat a personality
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
