you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize