this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
