Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
