if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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