I think im going to throw up on grandma
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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