just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
