I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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