Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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