Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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