32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
