How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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