He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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