His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
