i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
