If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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