i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
