Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
