So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
