Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's never too late to be topless.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
