Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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