Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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